Landing Notes

 I fear flights.  While I am a wreck before , during and after every flight , my family is just annoyed and embarassed with my dramatics. My teen disowns me totally .

I  have no qualms talking about this fear which is as dreadful as any dental procedure. The only two things I fear.

 Claustrophobia is  the main culprit  during flights and has  become more traumatic  with the Mask protocol.

 Because, I believe in wearing them the way they are intended and not as a mere matching ikkat/kalamkari /sequined embellishment.

 The near death experiences in the form of turbulences, make me believe in life after death.  Several deaths to be statistically accurate.

My coping skills include - not sleeping the previous day so that exhaustion takes over ; carrying a book ( never manage to read even a page as I eagerly await  the moment the plane would crash ). 

Add a few extras to the above like  being irritable and  ready to pounce on or  punch  anybody who crosses my path , compulsive eating, binge watching.. apart from declaring a kitchen holiday .

Typically after fastening the seat belts I alternate between visualising crash landings ,water landings, or safe landing with Hanuman chalisa as Background music all the time.

Not  a believer of awards. But if there was an award for 'keen listening' of the flight  safety precautions, it most definitely belongs to me.

In all modesty, I also know the content of flight safety manual by-heart.  

I still read it religiously every time, to check for new  dangers and update the content for my crash visualisations accordingly.

Over the years and several flights later, having imagined all possible things going wrong, thought I had it all covered while I continued to live happily inbetween flights.

Till what happened over a cuppa and a cold shower.

Thought the ceiling of the aircraft broke and it started raining inside the plane. 

Just as I had always imagined I was the only casualty of this catastrophe. Never mind if we were 37000 feet above with  clouds hanging  below . 

There was a downpour and it was real.

From a water bottle that decided to pour out its contents mid-air .. the hum-suffer next to me in all his sincererity to help did something that  toppled the  hot cup of coffee ( mine 😭) all over 😎 me.

Cold shower and hot coffee .. delectable combo , when it is not on your pants and shirt .

I realised it wasn't a midair accident . Was  agitated , but only for a few seconds as  a dozen pair of confused eyes were looking at me.

Water dripping from my head , and the hot coffee burning my legs  that were meant to  caress my  throat ...

I must have looked a sight 😂. My mid-air Met Gala moment of sorts.

I got into a giggling fit ..( it is a genetic disorder peculiar to our family,maternal side to be specific!) and could no longer control my laughter. 

Laugh and the world laughs with you..sigh.

The giggling fit  usually happens when I am extremely sad or happy. 

Certainly out of happiness in this case , afterall what is a little bit of burning hot coffee on your skin and shirt or cold water on your back as compared to hanging precariously  upside down  a tree branch  on a mountain from a plane crash or sink to meet a whale or shark in the Bay of Bengal!

Small mercies this hot cofee and cold water shower ,you see?!

Happy and Sad. Winning and Losing. ( Those of you connected with Equestrian sports feel free to  say Winning and Leasing ) 

That's life . 

Let me add Hot and Cold to this list of life lessons and wish you all a very happy 2022 !

Laughter,  continues to be the best medicine amidst all this!

PS:Suggestions to remove coffee stains welcome .